Traumatic experiences in the elementary family for clients with infidelity problems and important events in the psychotherapeutic process

Abstract

Infidelity in a relationship is a traumatic experience, because it touches one’s deepest and most intimate relationship, undermining confidence and security in the relationship and eliciting feelings of betrayal, anger, frustration, sadness, abandonment, despair... These are difficult experiences for an individual, for a couple and for other family members as well. They are also complex and difficult to treat. Researchers talk about the fact that the consequences of a partner’s infidelity are the same as the consequences of any other traumatic experience. In our study we wanted to examine whether marriage and family therapists detected the presence of abusive or traumatic experiences in the elementary family with clients who were experiencing a partner’s infidelity. In addition, we wanted to know which moments in the psychotherapeutic process were important from the perspective of marriage and family therapists and what was important in the therapeutic process. The results showed that from the perspective of family and marital therapists the clients who had problems with a partner’s infidelity were the one’s who had an experience of abuse in their elementary family. We found a good therapeutic relationship or therapeutic alliance was very important in resolving problems with infidelity. According to marital and family therapists, the moments of greatest importance in the psychotherapeutic process were when clients were able to express their needs and feelings, assumed responsibility and increased self-awareness.